I really hate how muchI have become a broken record, I say things without thinking and as soon as it is out of my mouth, I am tired of hearing it too.

We all do it. We repeat the same phrase over and over, and for some reason we expect the kids to respond. But they don't hear us - they hear the teacher's voice from Charlie Brown instead. Even I hear it when I'm talking sometimes.

I have three children - three different, amazing, lovable children. And they deserve to be loved equally. But this article in Time tells me that is an impossible goal. All parents have favourites - whether they express it or even know it.

Six months ago, I did a post about a mom blogger who wrote about favouring her younger child. It wasn't just about favouring her younger child, she didn't much like her eldest kid. The post elicited a lot of comments from people who grew up with favouritism themselves; those stories were so full of anguish and sadness. I think anyone reading them swore to do better.

My post-partum doula told me that the world needs more middle children because they are great negotiators, mediators and make the world a better place.

Pretty astute words from someone who couldn't figure out my laundry machine. Writers Catherine Salmon and Katrin Schumann echo her theory with their new book: The Secret Power of Middle Children where they suggest that middle children are more successful later in life because of their skills learned as the overlooked middle.

I have to admit that when I heard that Julie Cole had six kids, I couldn't believe it. Not only is she co-founder of the wildly successful Mabel's Labels but six kids? Who in their right mind would choose to have six kids I wondered. And just like everyone else she knows, I asked her. Her answer made sense (for her, not so much for me) and so I asked her to write it all down.

Six Reasons to Have Six Kids
When people hear that I have six kids, the reaction is usually entertaining. Sure there are some days when I wonder what I’ve got myself into, worry about the world they’ll inherit and consider the environmental footprint of a family like mine. But most of the time I just celebrate how awesome it is to have six kids. Here are a few reasons why!

Why did we have a third child? I get asked that all the time, and I don't really have a good answer. It wasn't an accident and it wasn't because we were trying for a girl after having two boys [though it was a nice bonus]. It was because it felt like we weren't quite done, that there was still room for more -- in our hearts and our home.

I was the one who pushed for a third. I had an intense relationship with my sister growing up; there was a lot of pressure on us to be friends. I wanted something different than my family experience. I thought having three would take the focus off of one sibling relationship and mix it up. My husband comes from a family of three and he wasn't too sure that was good reasoning.

It wasn't. Because there is nothing rational in the decision to have more kids. If you are thinking of having three kids, here are some things you should know:

Sibling rivalry. Really it's one of the joys of parenting isn't it? The yelling, the fighting for no reason, the crying, the constant badgering of each other. One thing that keeps me sane when the kids are trying to kill each other is what a parenting coach told me: sibling rivalry is good because it teaches kids how to handle conflict.

See? It's good and you have been worried all this time that siblings hating each other was a bad thing. Phew.

"I have arranged my candy in a way so that I can see if it has been disturbed," said my eldest son as he finally walked away from his precious piles and into bed after Halloween last night.

I doubt that he would notice if I pinched a Caramilk bar but I wouldn't chance it. The wrath if he did figure it out wouldn't be worth the minute of satisfaction from the sweet treat. It is like this every year. He is our family hoarder. From candy to toys, his room is filled with whatever falls under his tyrannical hoarding instinct.

Sam had a middle child personality even before his younger sister was born. He was (and is) sweet, accommodating and can play with kids older than him or younger. And as he gets older we can already see that Jan Brady-sized chip being carved out on his shoulder. My doula told me that the world needs more middle children because they are the negotiators and mediators of the world, so we do have major world-saving plans for Sam.

Typically, middle children get the least amount of attention and it is true in our house too. Blogger MamaKat admitted to forgetting her middle child's birthday this week and lots of commenters agreed with her that middle child syndrom is real. My husband thinks that the benign neglect may make Sam more sane and capable than the rest of us. It worries me but then I forget about it because my oldest is being ridiculously rude and needs a drive to his soccer practice and his younger sister is so adorable and wants me to put on some music so she can dance.

Can I bring Yseline? asks my daughter as she drags her doll towards me.

” Umm…ok,” I answer.

“ And my wagon? “ As on cue,  a toy wagon full of bits and pieces rolls towards my foot.

“ Umm…no,”

“ But I neeeed it!” Cries erupt.

I am momentarily distracted by the boys now fighting over a hat. ”That’s my hat!” yells  Aaron as he tries to squish the too-small hat on to his melon-sized head.

“No, it’s mine now!” yells Sam as he tries to grab it. Aaron flicks him off with a desultory slap. My daughter’s cries are getting louder as I try and force her foot into her boot while trying to find the mitten that has fallen under the bench.

‘Auggh… the puppy stole the hat!” yell the boys in unison. I ignore them as I am now scrambling for my wallet and trying to find my phone.

It’s just an average day in chaos, trying to get the three kids out the door. Doesn’t matter what our destination is, exiting the house remains one of the most difficult tasks of the day.

Holidays are great, but they are also hard. It feels sometimes like everyone's behaviour is under a microscope. And once that behaviour is being studied -- watch out that's when the labels get applied and when parenting anxieties can grow.

At a low point on our holiday at a relative's cottage last summer I grabbed a slightly browned copy of Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish off the shelves. I knew the authors from their other, better known books, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & LIsten So Kids Will Talk and also Siblings Without Rivalry. Their parenting style is rooted in a deep respect for the kids and for themselves. And while the language (and the title) is outdated the following excerpt struck a chord with me.

Check it out, it is worth a read.