If you knew you could save your child from a lifetime of pain you would.

If you could save your child from an early death you would certainly do that too.

What if while doing those things you could also pick their intelligence? Their height and their ability to run fast? Those things may also help them as they go through life, wouldn't they?

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. And as I write this, I am freaked out a little bit because I thought it was tomorrow night. Because my calendar says tomorrow, but I should know that Jewish holidays always start the night before, on the eve. Luckily, I have eight days to get caught up.

I know what you are thinking: eight days?

When people find out that we celebrate Chanukah, after they get over the first awkward Happy Chanukah statement, they always want to know a few things. Like:

Everywhere I turn I keep hearing about Elf on a Shelf. Parents in the schoolyard are talking about what a wonder it is, there are news reports about it increasing the magic of Christmas, and it is all over the Internet. And now there is even an animated TV show about it. There are even funny but not suitable for little children photos.

What is this new "family tradition" of The Elf on a Shelf? It is a wooden elf that comes complete with storybook. The Elf, so the story goes, has magical qualities; he watches the kids during the day and then goes back to report to Santa each night. The Elf is a playful little guy so he re-appears each morning in a different place [note to parents: you have to remember to move it nightly], to scare... I mean... observe... no, I mean delight the children each day.

My boys are both circumcised. It was not a decision that we took lightly.

Circumcision rates have fallen sharply in Canada, even in the last decade going from the norm to the exception. But we are a Jewish family and not circumcising them would have meant that they are not Jewish. 

In the summer of 2000, our close friend's father received a letter from Japan. The letter was from a young woman who worked at the Tokyo Holocaust Centre, "I have your sister's suitcase" it read.

Fumiko Ishigoka was trying to teach children in Japan about the Holocaust in order to foster tolerance and compassion. She wondered if an artifact from a European child would help Japanese children feel empathy for the children who perished long before they were born.

The Auschwitz Museum sent her a child's sock, a sweater, a shoe, a canister of Zyklon B gas and a suitcase. In thick white paint, the words "Hana Brady, Waisenkind [orphan]" were written on the scuffed brown leather. 

A typical dinner conversation in my house:

Son Number 1: I don't believe in God, why would I?

Me: Some people believe in a higher power without labelling it God...

Son Number 1: Do you?

Me: No, I don't, at least I think I don't. I think this is it.

Son Number 2 [runs up to the table]: Pull my finger. [pfffffftt]

Daughter: Ha ha ha, that stinks... I love that trick.

Husband: I believe that there is something greater than us, I wouldn't say it in a monotheistic way. I just think there is an energy that surrounds us. There are just so many unanswered questions.

Son Number One: Like why the monkeys stayed monkeys and we didn't. You know they just discovered a planet 12-million light years away that could support life. Maybe there are aliens out there.

Son Number Two: I don't know about God but aliens would be cool. But I do believe in Santa.

Son Number One: We are Jewish, genius. 

Happy (almost) Holidays! 

I don't generally use Merry Christmas because I don't celebrate it and I don't want to assume that everyone who reads this blog does either. I teach my kids to say Happy Holidays, but they always ask me why everyone says Merry Christmas to them. They are not of an age where they understand that us non-Christmas celebrants are the minority.

I'm not anti-Christmas, I'm pro-inclusion. This makes me an enemy of the American Family Association who are policing retailers to make sure that they are putting the "Christ back into Christmas". They are encouraging shoppers to boycott stores who do not mention Christmas in their advertising.

There are a lot of family dinners this week which means an opportunity for overeating and sullen children. Or maybe it's just me. I have a child who hates large family meals that have any kind of religious overtones.

Our family is celebrating Passover this week, and we had two large Seders between my parents and my husband's parents house. A Seder is a feast celebrating the Jews escaping from slavery in Egypt (essentially the story as told in the movie The Ten Commandments), and is preceeded by an hour of ritual prayers and discussions. The before-dinner part can be a bit boring, especially when everyone is hungry.

In the past, my son has been rude and difficult at the Seder, he mutters under his breath and leaves the table abruptly. His father is generally pretty close behind him, sometimes under the guise of disciplining him and sometimes not. They both detest religious holidays because they hate being told what to do. We are not a religious family, the Jewish holidays are really a way to get together and celebrate life as a family and to eat – a lot. They don’t see the part of religious holidays that I like: the connection to history and to others around the world, the celebration of being a family. For them sitting for 45 minutes listening to Hebrew prayers and the Moses story is painful.

I dread this conversation which I have had in some form or another with my two older kids:

“Mom, why doesn’t Santa come to our house?"
“umm… because we celebreate Hannukah and Santa only goes to houses that have Christmas.
“But why? The teacher/commercial/movie/well-meaning store person said that Santa would come to my house if I was a good boy. And I’ve been good.”
“We have Hannukah.”
“But I want Christmas and Santa, and a tree and pretty lights on the house.”
“Well. We have a Menorah which we get to light for eight nights in a row! And get presents and dreidel?”
“HEY! I get it, Santa isn’t real is he? I mean how could one person go around the world in one day and carry all the presents! Now I understand why Santa doesn’t come to our house. Wait until I tell my friends!!”
“You got it. Umm, hold on buddy. You can’t tell your friends… hey, come back here….”