Mum, are they saying the B-word?

What honey?

You know, on the radio is he saying Sexy B-word? asks my 6-year old.

AUGGH! Do I say yes or no? Too late.

They are saying the B-word! he realizes.

I dread this conversation which I have had in some form or another with my two older kids:

“Mom, why doesn’t Santa come to our house?"
“umm… because we celebreate Hannukah and Santa only goes to houses that have Christmas.
“But why? The teacher/commercial/movie/well-meaning store person said that Santa would come to my house if I was a good boy. And I’ve been good.”
“We have Hannukah.”
“But I want Christmas and Santa, and a tree and pretty lights on the house.”
“Well. We have a Menorah which we get to light for eight nights in a row! And get presents and dreidel?”
“HEY! I get it, Santa isn’t real is he? I mean how could one person go around the world in one day and carry all the presents! Now I understand why Santa doesn’t come to our house. Wait until I tell my friends!!”
“You got it. Umm, hold on buddy. You can’t tell your friends… hey, come back here….”