Is She A Bad Mom? Giuliana Rancic Puts Marriage Before Motherhood
Celebrity Giuliana Rancic says her marriage comes before motherhood.
She said that she puts husband Bill, over their 5-month-old Duke, even though he is the "cutest baby ever".
She told Us Weekly: "We're husband and wife, but we're also best friends, and it's funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second," says the 37-year-old breast-cancer survivor. "That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage."
She is implying that this is more than just having a weekly date night saying: "I always say to Bill, 'You were my first baby,' because he was! He was my first love and my first baby and Duke is my second baby."
Rancic was both criticized and supported for her comments. Thankfully, she didn't backpedal, instead tweeting afterwards "Kids want happy parents" and flying off for a weekend away with Bill and no baby.
I agree that a happy marriage is a strong foundation to build a family. It is good role modelling for the kids when they see parents who enjoy each other's company.
But I don't agree with putting the marriage before the baby. I also don't agree with putting the baby before the marriage. (I also don't agree with choosing body over face, but that is a different story). I just want to know, why is this a choice at all?
I don't choose my husband over my children and I don't choose them over him. This is very similar to the favourite child dilemma. People in a family are not ranked. There is not a pecking order of love and attention. Love is not a pie.
People need different things at different times. Sometimes my marriage needs a little attention, sometimes my middle child needs some time and sometimes my oldest needs a one-on-one, or my youngest needs a mommy night. Sometimes the dog needs a walk.
Family life is family life. It isn't an either or proposition. I'm glad that Giuliana and Bill's relationship hasn't suffered after having a baby. Many do. I'm sure that mine did, but we recovered and moved on because we love each other. And that is marriage.
It's not because I put him first. There is no first, no best, and no favourite. There's just us, trying to find the time for everyone.
Do you put marriage before baby? Or are the kids the most important? Or, is it a "false dichotomy" as they say?
Want more chaos? Last year, Huggies had to pull an ad after being accused of mocking dads. What a difference a year makes. This year ads are full of competent dads.