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February 26, 2013

Ben Affleck Tells The Truth And Says Marriage Is Work

Ben Affleck didn't exactly show off his romantic side at the Oscars when he thanked his wife of "10 Christmases" Jennifer Garner for all her hard work on their marriage. 

He said, while stumbling over his words:  "It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

Garner_affleck

The fact that Affleck didn't fall into schmoopy-doopyism's has some gossip columnists wondering if the Affleck-Garner marriage is in trouble. But I found it a refreshing break from the contrived "soulmate" kinds of thank-yous that generally take up the Oscar broadcast. 

Affleck admitted this year, that he isn't always around in his marriage and that Garner does most of the work. (In fact, she took the kids to a spelling bee hours before the Oscars.) I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one and think he is saying: "I'm sorry that I am so much work, and I appreciate you putting up with me."

Affleck even had to explain his comments later: “All relationships, to a certain extent, require your work. We work on it together, we try our best, nobody’s perfect… She’s more perfect than I am.”

It would be easy to think that if I was beautiful like Jennifer Garner and had access to beautiful clothes and celebrity perks, then my life would be easier. I'm sure I'm not the only one to think of marriage to a movie star as a way to escape the hum-drum reality of daily life. Obviously, that is a fantasy and I don't mind Affleck (okay, he has maybe figured in some of those daydreams) pricking the bubble a little bit. 

I can't pretend to know what goes on in a marriage. So I have no idea what he actually meant by the statement or if he will be in trouble at home over it. I'm sure Jennifer deserves romantic gestures like the rest of us. Maybe it is a secret joke between them? But I can thank him for reminding us that every marriage is similar in some ways. 

But others disagree. There was the usual wondering if their marriage was solid. But other bloggers, like Becks, has a different opinion; she called the comment "marriage-dooming" and writes that since we all know that marriage is work, it is best not to expose the internal, secret mechanisms of a marriage. 

Because let's face it: marriage is work, it is a choice you have to make each and everyday. It doesn't matter if you are married to a superstar or an average person, it takes a lot of compromise, and daily drudgery to make a marriage stick.

So let's hope Ben is changing some diapers and telling his wife that he appreciates her in small ways as well as large ones. 

Do you agree with Ben's comment?

Want more chaos? Last year, I wrote a post on the 25 words every toddler should know. If you have a toddler, you should read it. 

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Emma WavermanEmma Waverman

Emma Waverman writes five days a week about the chaos of modern family life here at MSN.ca. She is the co-author of the family cookbook Whining and Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them and is hoping to one day to finish her certification as a parenting coach. She lives with her three kids, ranging from tween to grade schooler, and husband in Toronto. Emma has written for a variety of national parenting and lifestyle magazines and papers. When she’s is not making typos, telling you what she thinks, and thinking about dinner - you can find her on Twitter at @emmawaverman. You can contact Emma at embracingchaos@hotmail.ca

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