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January 28, 2013

Is It Healthy For Couples To Sleep In Separate Rooms?

I've been formulating a theory that the secret to a happy marriage (or at least my happy marriage) is going to bed at the same time. Not because of you-know-what, but because those few minutes in bed chatting about our day, telling funny stories and listing errands makes us feel connected. The fleeting moments without the TV or the kids around reminds us of who we are as people -- not just parents. 

All this to say, that I would never sleep in a separate room from my husband on a permanent basis (there are a few nights where it happens). Leah Rumack at Today's Parent disagrees.


She and her husband have separate sleeping quarters because of her insomnia and his snoring. Her argument that lack of sleep leads to crankiness and that crankiness affects a marriage more than sleeping apart does, is a convincing one.

Many of the comments on the FB page seem to agree with Rumack; seems that sleeping apart is a sanity-saver for many couples. Almost a quarter of couples sleep apart according to one study, and home builders are reporting a rise in requests for double master suites. Are we returning to the '50s when it seemed proper for couples to sleep apart?

Sexpert Josey Vogels, wrote in the Huffington Post that sleeping apart may be good for a marriage and some couples may underestimate how their partner affects their quality of sleep. 

I admit that I do a double-take when a couple sleeps apart, but maybe "separate room couples" have a point. Sleep is important, and everyone has to do what works for them.

In the meantime, it's our bedtime. 

Would you consider having separate bedrooms? Is it a fantasy or a reality of yours?

Want more chaos? Last year, people were outraged when a gay couple got married in an Archie comic. I think times are changing!


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Emma WavermanEmma Waverman

Emma Waverman writes five days a week about the chaos of modern family life here at MSN.ca. She is the co-author of the family cookbook Whining and Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them and is hoping to one day to finish her certification as a parenting coach. She lives with her three kids, ranging from tween to grade schooler, and husband in Toronto. Emma has written for a variety of national parenting and lifestyle magazines and papers. When she’s is not making typos, telling you what she thinks, and thinking about dinner - you can find her on Twitter at @emmawaverman. You can contact Emma at embracingchaos@hotmail.ca

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