Don't Call Me A MILF
MILF. Popular definition: Mother I'd Like to F**k.
Nice language. The term was popularized by the American Pie movie series about the hot and available Stiffler's mom.
Since then, "MILF", its softer cousin "Yummy Mummy", and the nastier "Cougar" have been creeping into our language to describe mothers who might think about sex once in a while. MILF doesn't describe every mother -- just those who are judged to be sexy, young-looking and desirable by a younger man.
The term MILF implies that most mothers are sexless once they have begun to care for young children, but with the are a small exception that are so hot a younger man might want to have a one-night stand with them.
I don't know if it started in porn, but if you search MILF on the Internet you get a bunch of porn sites. (Don't try it, I did the work for you.)
It's the Madona/Whore dichotomy all over again.
Luckily, there is a diet book out for those mothers who care enough to garner male attention -- it's called The MILF Diet. The book says: “MILFiness is all about balance. By staying balanced, MILFs are healthier, sexier and have more fun." The book may be about balance and eating right, but the writer is getting seriously sidetracked.
Recently, the author Jessica Porter was on CBC Radio Q defending the term MILF. She says women should accept their inner (and outer) sexiness and use the term MILF in an empowering way.
Danielle Smith from extraordinarymommy.com argued that MILF is derogatory on Q. She said that she doesn't want her daughter to always to define herself by how others see her. And of course MILF is exactly that; the 'I' in MILF is about a young man. It's not about self-esteem, or how you feel about yourself. It's about your value on a scale set up by a patriarchal society.
And now I'm all ranty.
MILF implies that mothers are either sexy mamas pushing strollers in heels and lipstick, or bedraggled sweatpant-wearing harridans who can't be bothered to wear push-up bras.
I don't divide myself into those two categories, they both live in me and I don't need a term other than mother to describe who I am -- with or without lipstick and a push-up bra.
What do you think of the term MILF. Is it insulting or a compliment?
Want more chaos? Last year, I wondered if Michelle Williams was pulling the "mommy card" in her quest for an Oscar.
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