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October 28, 2012

Birth Order Makes You Who You Are

As a parent, you see birth order from both sides --the way you experienced it, and the way you see it reflected in your own kids. 

First borns are responsible, middles have a chip on their shoulder and the babies are irresponsible -- you have probably heard it all before. But do you believe it?


This video from the Today Show has the rundown, including the typical traits of the eldest, middle and youngest child. I find that it generally rings true for my kids -- with some temperamental differences. 

 

When I took parenting courses with Beverly Cathcart-Ross she said that birth order is not deterministic. As parents, we have a role to play to make sure that our kids do not fall into the typical boxes of birth order. I thought we were doing a pretty good job of that, but then the expert in the video was talking about middle children and how they are secretive which is something I was thinking about my middle son the other day. Also, I try not to treat my youngest like the baby -- but she is so damn delicious it is hard not to. And yes, more expectations fall on my oldest because, well, he is the oldest.

So birth order is hard to escape. The one point I found particularly interesting in the video is when she quickly mentions that we parent from our birth order experience. So we see the child who mirrors our birth order experience as we see ourselves.

Unfortunately, Dr. Saltz doesn't touch on only children or blended families which must change how birth order is analyzed.

I find birth order theory really fascinating. I often wonder how my kids would be different if they were born in a different order. How would I be different if I wasn't a first born? 

Do you see the birth order theory reflected in your kids? Or in you?

Want more chaos? Last year, Babble released their top 50 Dad blogs, do you read any of these?

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Emma WavermanEmma Waverman

Emma Waverman writes five days a week about the chaos of modern family life here at MSN.ca. She is the co-author of the family cookbook Whining and Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them and is hoping to one day to finish her certification as a parenting coach. She lives with her three kids, ranging from tween to grade schooler, and husband in Toronto. Emma has written for a variety of national parenting and lifestyle magazines and papers. When she’s is not making typos, telling you what she thinks, and thinking about dinner - you can find her on Twitter at @emmawaverman. You can contact Emma at embracingchaos@hotmail.ca

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