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April 16, 2012

Playdates Are Good For Kids and, Most Importantly, Me

Dear Mothers Who Feel Guilty About Dropping Your Kids Off for Playdates,

A few of you have approached me recently expressing guilt over sending your kids for playdates. And let me speak on behalf of most stay-at-home/work-at-home mothers. We want your kids. We want them to come over after school. We like it.

When my kids have someone to play with they don't harass me as much. I can get stuff done like this blog or cook dinner or read a magazine. When my kids have friends over, they don't expect me to play with them. This is a good thing.


Please stop apologizing over and over and asking if it is okay. If I say it is fine, it is fine. You will know when I can't do it. I don't need payback and I don't mind if they come over a couple of weeks in a row.

Regular playdates are normal, even necessary. Just understand that this is not a daycare, your kids may not be heavily supervised. I will promise to react if there is crying but I will not be handing out toys, encouragement or ribbons for nice play. There may be disagreements and if there are I will expect the kids to attempt to resolve it themselves before I step in. These are my rules for playdate success.

There will be no scheduled activities or beautifully composed art projects. I don't mind feeding them snacks, but they may contain sugar and gluten and a piece of fruit. I don't even mind feeding them dinner in a pinch.

I will call you if there is blood or if there is non-stop crying. I will administer ice packs and band-aids if need be.

I understand that you are busy and I am happy to help out with your busy life but, more importantly, you are helping mine. Playdates are a win-win situation for all of us.

Best,

Emma

Want more chaos? Last year, I wrote about how my son sometimes calls me by my first name, and why that is okay with me.

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Emma WavermanEmma Waverman

Emma Waverman writes five days a week about the chaos of modern family life here at MSN.ca. She is the co-author of the family cookbook Whining and Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them and is hoping to one day to finish her certification as a parenting coach. She lives with her three kids, ranging from tween to grade schooler, and husband in Toronto. Emma has written for a variety of national parenting and lifestyle magazines and papers. When she’s is not making typos, telling you what she thinks, and thinking about dinner - you can find her on Twitter at @emmawaverman. You can contact Emma at embracingchaos@hotmail.ca

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