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February 7, 2012

Coping With Mom Stress

Stress can be felt in so many ways. It hits you physically and mentally. It can affect your sleep, your health, sex life and your parenting and definitely cause breakouts.

But why is being a mom so stressful? Is it the time crunch? the feeling of never being on top of things? The many different things that need to be done in a day, all at the same time? Why is modern parenting so stressful? And what can we do about it?


I think a lot of mom stress comes from guilt. We are so worried about feeling guilty if our kids don't have all the experiences, right food, right equipment and just right life that we try and squish everything together in one big massive attempt at perfection.

And this is stressful. On a lesser note -- having kids whine at you all day is also stressful.

We know the stress of kids, work and doing everything on our to-do list will stay. So how do we handle it all?

Michele Borba has some good ideas on the Today Show. Things that you have heard before, like take a break, learn your stress signals and create solutions for stressful times; the most interesting part of this clip is when she asks you to take a barometer of your home climate.

She tells parents to try these two tests but they are not for the faint of heart:

Your Home Climate Test: Is your home a place where you and your kids can de-stress? Are there laughs and time to enjoy each other’s company in a relaxed mode?

Your Kids’ Memory of YOU Test: If you asked your kids to describe you would they say you are usually calm, take time to listen and are enjoyable to be around?

What would your kids answer be? What would your partner's answer be?

 

My kids think I'm pretty relaxed but I'm distracted. My daughter said: "You are nice, but you always leave when we are playing a game to do stuff."

Now that made me stressed and guilty. Maybe it's not the best advice. But Dr. Borba says that if your kids say you are irritable then it is up to you to deal with your stress levels. 

Are you stressed out to the max? What are the biggest stresses in your life?

Want more chaos? Last year, I told the world that I don't need Valentine's Day to feel loved.

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Emma WavermanEmma Waverman

Emma Waverman writes five days a week about the chaos of modern family life here at MSN.ca. She is the co-author of the family cookbook Whining and Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them and is hoping to one day to finish her certification as a parenting coach. She lives with her three kids, ranging from tween to grade schooler, and husband in Toronto. Emma has written for a variety of national parenting and lifestyle magazines and papers. When she’s is not making typos, telling you what she thinks, and thinking about dinner - you can find her on Twitter at @emmawaverman. You can contact Emma at embracingchaos@hotmail.ca

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