Anderson Cooper Heats Up the So-Called Mommy Wars
Did you hear that shot through the momosphere? That was Anderson Cooper firing up a new round of mommy wars using the term "lazy" as his weapon.
*Disclaimer: I hate the term mommy wars. I think it has been created by the media to place women's choices into boxes that need public approval, but not reflective of women's lives or their relationships.
On a promo for an upcoming show, Cooper had a group of stay-at-home moms and working moms arguing over who was happier. On the Anderson Cooper website the episode was called: "Are Stay-at-Home Moms Lazy? Plus, Kathie-Lee and Hoda" (Kathie-Lee and Hoda and their giant glasses of wine are just a bonus.)
We know that many studies have come out that say that working moms are happier overall or at least less depressed than moms at home. But tossing the word lazy in there? That is guaranteeing that the discussion starts at level 11.
As MOM101 pointed out; the definition of lazy is a bunch of TV producers using the so-called mommy wars to increase ratings.
But since we are all talking about it, we should take this opportunity to say that we moms will not allow the media to do this. Yes, there are women out there who are willing to start a fight and I'm sorry for them. Because if they were happy with their choices they wouldn't be calling out other women all over the TV.
As a certified lazy person I can tell you that we exist everywhere - in the workplace and in the home. We are mothers, fathers, aunts and grandparents. Those moms who run the school fundraiser -- they may be at home, but they aren't lazy. They work a lot harder than some people I know who go to an office.
But staging the debate in this way is lazy journalism. No women is selfish, lazy or ignoring their kids just because they made a choice. Some women don't have a choice to work or to stay at home because of financial and personal reasons. Some women, like me, choose a third path that is a mix of the two.
I think, hope, know that we are beyond the mommy wars. The media can depict us as fighting shrews divided by the idea of work; but we women know better. We know that we are all doing the best we can, that our choices don't define us or our friends. The mom world is not divided into the working moms vs stay-at-home moms; anymore than it is split by coffee vs tea drinkers, yoga pants wearers vs stilettos, or red wine drinkers vs white wine drinkers. Some of my friends work, some are at home, most of them drink coffee and think Tina Fey could be their best friend. Occasionally, we may peek over the fence to see if the grass is greener, sometimes we may say things that are hurtful, sometimes we may wish things were different.
I am so happy that we live in a time where women have choices. Sure, it can feel overwhelming but I would rather live in a world where people are choosing to raise their children and live their lives according to their own needs and desires then have someone on TV tell us what to do.
Want more chaos? Last year, I wrote about one of the stories that defined the year -- Tiger Mom!