Do People Still Use Spanking to Discipline?
Do you ever spank your kids?
I don't know anyone who will admit to spanking their kids. Most people will admit to overwhelming anger, to losing their cool, possibly to the occasional rougher-than-normal placement, some to the occasional smack -- but calm, cool spanking as a discipline technique?
Is that people's dirty parenting secret that I don't know about? Because spanking is being talked about a lot lately. There was the judge in Texas who committed child abuse and called it spanking, his daughter loaded up the disturbing video on YouTube; I saw someone on Twitter say they spanked their child for being rude; there is ongoing debate whether or not the Bible instructs parents to spank; and there are many studies that list the long-term (mostly negative) effects of spanking.
Do we need more studies to say that spanking is wrong? Do people really think that hitting their children is the way to teach them to stop hitting? Or touching their body in a painful and intrusive manner is the way to teach respect?
John Hoffman wrote a column in Today's Parent citing a study that dispels a lot of the myths about "smart spanking". He writes:
This study will not end all debate about spanking. There is still the question about whether or not dropping Section 43 of Canada’s Criminal Code, which allows “reasonable” hitting of children (aged two to 12) for corrective purposes, will criminalize hundreds of good parents who lose their tempers sometimes, as some have suggested. (It won’t.) And I suppose some people will keep debating whether or not corporal punishment causes long-term harm. But even if someone could prove that the odd swat is harmless, why would anyone want to hit children if they didn’t have to? The thousands of morally sound, capable and impressive unspanked young people around these days are all the proof I need that you don’t have to spank kids to raise ’em right.
I have to admit I didn't even know that hitting your kids was legal in this country. How can it be? I can't hit a stranger but I can hit someone I love? Doesn't that seem wrong?
I wonder what I would do if I saw someone spanking their child? Would I walk on by or stop them? I'd love to know if you have ever interceded, if you have, comment here.
There is a book called: This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You, which is children talking about their experiences of being spanked, in their own words. I would never want my kid to feel like that, no matter what they have done. My discipline techniques are far from perfect -- but they don't leave a handprint on my kid's behind.
Teaching our kids self-respect, problem solving, staying calm when angry and not to use physical harm are the basic tenets of parenting. Can someone explain to me how spanking fits into that?
Can you tell me: do you spank your kids? Were you spanked as a child?
Want more chaos? Last year, I revealed Mommy's little secret.