Supermoms and Stay-at-Home Moms All Find Motherhood Depressing
Do you ever feel depressed? Like you can't do it all? That you are a bad mother, poor worker and you just can't climb over the mountain of laundry, and half-eaten plates of dinner?
Well, you aren't alone. A new study says that not only are stay-at-home moms depressed, so are many moms who work outside the home. Essentially, most mothers are depressed. So if you are home with your kidlets all day you will feel badly, and if you work in an office with the assumption that you are able to do it all -- then you are depressed too.
The study confirms other research that says that working outside the home, either part or full time, is good for women's mental health. But the finding that people are talking about is that working women who underestimate how hard it is to balance worklife and homelife also feel depressed. But the working women with lower expectations of themselves, are the ones who feel the best about their life. So Supermom doesn't feel so happy, but the women who allow the library books to collect late fees, and whose kids don't have the perfectly packed lunches are the ones who feel good.
The lead researcher says:
"The findings really point to the mismatch between women's expectations about their ability to balance work and family. Women still do the bulk of household labor and child care, even when they're employed full time," said study author Katrina Leupp, a graduate student at the University of Washington in Seattle. "Women who go into employment expecting it to be difficult -- 'I'm going to have to work full time and do the laundry at night,' but who are accepting of that are less likely to be frustrated than women who expect things to be more equal with their partners."
So, according to the research lowering your expectations is the key to feeling good -- now that is depressing.
What do you think? Do you think women need to lower their expectations of being able to do it all in order to be happy?
Want more chaos? Last year, I was trying to figure out if babies had a universal language.