When does irony go too far?

JCPenney was selling a girl's sweatshirt that read: "I am too pretty to do my homework. So my brother has to do it for me." It was on sale for $9.99, down from 16.99. The tag line reads: "Who has time for homework when there's a new Justin Bieber album out? She'll love this Tee, just as cute and sassy as she is."

Do you ever stop to think about what you have learned from your kids? Not the usual 'I never knew I could love so much' stuff but the actual life lessons that you have learned.

Because I have learned some pretty amazing things from my kids. In fact, I am learning from them all the time. This amusing list from Men's Health has a few of my faves on them but I would add:

Even Your Average Day Deserves a Tutu: Why wait for a special occasion to pull out the sparkle?

How many times have you as a mother thought: someone should really invent [fill in blank], life would be so much better and they would make a million dollars.

Well, some moms have gone out and done that and while most are not making a million dollars, they are finding that being a "mompreneur" adds another dimension to their lives that they were craving. And their products are hitting the target market as well as getting lost of buzz. (Check out Candace Alper of Name Your Tunes in People Magazine!).

"My friends. Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we will change the world." - Jack Layton

The news this weekend seemed to be sending a message: it's time to make a difference. The funeral of Jack Layton inspired and the news of Hurricane Irene was anxiety-producing. Put it all together and it seemed like a good time to ask: am I doing enough to make the world better? Am I teaching my kids how to make the world a better place?

We demand that our kids give part of their allowance to charity as well as some of the proceeds of their ridiculously profitable lemonade stands. I personally like to give to charities that feed and teach people about healthy food, but my kids aren't that interested in what I want.  

There are some things that you should never say to a pregnant woman. They seem obvious don’t they? And yet, everyone who has been pregnant has had something inappropriate said to them.

Size seems like an easy topic to avoid and yet, every other person wants to discuss the size of your belly with statements like: 

Last week people were outraged when I said that according to a study, kids ability to lie was a sign of intelligence. As if I was condoning lying.

But some of the commenters got me thinking about the lies we tell as parents. From the Tooth Fairy to the little white lies about getting a parking ticket to hurry the little ones up. Along the same lines, there was a story in the Globe and Mail about a mother who told her son that it was his birthday in order to get him to give up diapers. It was not even close to his birthday.

If I really wanted to mess my kids up I would self-publish some books and leave them lying around the house. One of them would be called "Maggie Goes On a Diet and Becomes Popular", another might be "How To Look Like Barbie" and "How to Exercise to the Point Of Exhaustion So You Can Have a Killer Butt Before The Age of 12".

Luckily, the first one about Maggie going on a diet is ready to hit the store shelves so I don't have do a mock-up of it. You can see the cover here, with a poor chunky Maggie staring wistfully into a mirror holding a too-small pink dress. Poor Maggie.

Do you ever feel depressed? Like you can't do it all? That you are a bad mother, poor worker and you just can't climb over the mountain of laundry, and half-eaten plates of dinner?

Well, you aren't alone. A new study says that not only are stay-at-home moms depressed, so are many moms who work outside the home. Essentially, most mothers are depressed. So if you are home with your kidlets all day you will feel badly, and if you work in an office with the assumption that you are able to do it all -- then you are depressed too.

Huh?

Television is a big part of our lives. Partially, it is situational - the television is part of our family room/kitchen set up - and partially, it is just who we are.

Because I am physically around for a lot of my kids' TV watching, I have hours of programming from the Family Chanel, YTV, Disney XD and Teletoon wedged into my brain. Ask me about a certain Wizards of Waverly Place episode or the lyrics to the Johnny Test theme song and I can tell you. It is not a skill I am particularly proud of.

This weekend, I was asked by someone who works in kids' television what I would like to see in children's programming, especially for tweens. I think my answers surprised him.

I would like to see: 

Every once in a while a study comes out with breaking news: Moms are not always happy! We have secrets! Moms need alone time!

The Today Show recently did a large-scale study with parenting.com which promoted incredible headlines such as: Moms Medicate Their Kids For Peace and Quiet; Moms Would Rather Sleep Than Have Sex; Moms Are Overwhelmed!

No kidding. You don't need to ask 26,000 women to get those results. Just head on down to my house and I will invite two friends over.