Dadchelor Parties, Just Another Reason For Men to Drink?
Is there any stage of life that doesn't have a party attached to it yet? The life cycle of party planning used to be: birth; some kind of rite of passage marking teenagehood; wedding stuff; baby showers; throwing kids' birthday parties and then death rites.
But now, no stage in life can go without some kind of festivity attached to it. And the arrival of a baby seems to be the most feted. There are the YouTube birth announcements, the gender reveal parties, Babymoons and now the dadchelor is looking to overshadow baby showers, or at least drown them out with a keg.
Dadchelors (or dadelors, or daddymoons) are parties where an expectant dad drowns his fears and anxieties with a group of friends. An article in the Huffington Post outlines some of the guidelines; including the expectant dad doesn't pay for drinks all night and the party night has to be at least a month ahead of the due date. There may even be a "diaper keg" where men exchange diapers for beer.
One frequent dadchelor guest says "it is a farewell from the inner circle." It is "one more night where responsible decisions don’t matter," says another.
Isn't that lovely? A bunch of guys go out, get hammered and pretend to film Hangover Three, while the pregnant wife stays home drinking cranberry juice and soda.
Maybe I'm just jealous. I would way rather go out on a bar crawl or do a destination weekend than wrap toilet paper around my friend's waist and ooh and aahh over onesies. Wouldn't you?
There is nothing wrong with a man going out and having a few beers with some friends while their wife is pregnant. But there is something a little insulting about the dadchelor, as if men are so immature that they need one big send-off before they slip on the ball and chain of being a responsible partner and parent.
I'm just wondering though, why is there so much emphasis on public participation in having a baby? It seems like expectant parents are expected to include everyone in their life at every step of the pregnancy. But the pregnancy is the easy part. Does all this public attention make it seem more real? Do the parties really make it easier?
It is a false sense of community though; as soon as those labour pains begin, the drunken buddies, and the commenters on your YouTube channel mean nothing. It's you and your partner negotiating the new world of parenting all on your own. It won't matter how many parties you had, how many kegs or cupcakes you consumed. When you are up all night with a baby no one else is invited.
What do you think of this new trend of dadchelors?
Want more chaos? Last year I wrote about my our very dysfunctional relationship with the Tooth Fairy, including how much we give per tooth.