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May 19, 2011

Go the F**k to Sleep!

I remember it well. I was walking past my son's room and I could hear my husband singing:

"The drunks go walking two by two, hurrah, hurrah. The drunks go walking two by two, hurrah! The littlest one smells like skunk, and they all go marching down around the town boom, boom, boom."

The fantastic lyrics went on from there and I can tell you that they are unprintable.

 

Truth is, singing your baby to sleep and reading them bedside stories are a wonderful, nurturing part of being a parent. But, very often, especially by the third song and the eigth round of Goodnight Moon, you know freedom is near but you can't quite get out of the room until that kid gets to sleep.

And that is when your evil twin on your shoulder starts yelling: Get the f***k to sleep, kid!

One father and author have done what we all thought of doing, and we can be bitter that he beat us to it, or we can enjoy it. He wrote Go the F**k to Sleep and it is full of warm fuzzies with each page ending with: you guessed it. A sample:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.

The lambs have laid down with the sheep.

You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.

Please go the f**k to sleep.

Sometimes you have to laugh at even the most tender, nurturing moments because those moments can also be the most confining. The author, Adam Mansbach, captures the love/hate of bedtime and by extension of parenting brilliantly.

And in an interesting aside, the book isn't even available yet but a PDF has been floating around the Internet for a couple of weeks starting a viral campaign. Publishers are usually afraid of PDFs ruining a book's chances on store shelves but it has helped this book, because after reading it people are buying multiple copies for gifts.

Would you buy "Go the F**k to Sleep?"  Can you count the times you have silently thought that while putting your kids to sleep?

Want more chaos? Last year, I wrote about middle child syndrome because I have a middle child, and I worry about the giant chip he may have growing on his shoulder right now.

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Emma WavermanEmma Waverman

Emma Waverman writes five days a week about the chaos of modern family life here at MSN.ca. She is the co-author of the family cookbook Whining and Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them and is hoping to one day to finish her certification as a parenting coach. She lives with her three kids, ranging from tween to grade schooler, and husband in Toronto. Emma has written for a variety of national parenting and lifestyle magazines and papers. When she’s is not making typos, telling you what she thinks, and thinking about dinner - you can find her on Twitter at @emmawaverman. You can contact Emma at embracingchaos@hotmail.ca

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