Don't Let Bad Chemistry Break Up a Good Relationship
My annoying puppy seems to like some dogs and not others. Some dogs he will immediately strut over to and play with and others he can't stop barking at, which is a little strange. He is a little guy, but he isn't only attracted to dogs like him, sometimes he completely ignores the other fuzz balls and goes for the big, intimidating dogs and sometimes it's vice -versa. I guess there is something chemical about other dogs that he can just sense.
Toddlers are like that too. Some little kids just get along immediately and others take a while to warm up to each other. But sometimes two kids don't get along at all. There isn't always an obvious reason to us parents; it hardly seems like a two-year-old's personality is formed enough for another toddler to dislike him/her upon meeting, but I guess the little ones know more than we do.
And when toddlers don't get along they fight, they hit, they steal each other's toys and they cry. It is very disruptive. And since toddlers are often put together to make the mommies or caregivers happy, if they don't get along it can be a big problem.
It can ruin the mommies' playdate.
That is okay when that happens once, but when it is a recurring problem and it becomes obvious that these two kids -- for whatever reason -- don't get along it usually means that the moms can't be friends anymore. Or at least it means they have to be "after-hours" friends.
In my experience that doesn't usually work so well because when two kids don't get along -- as much as each parent tries to believe it is just bad chemistry -- secretly she is wondering what is wrong with that other child. Why don't they love their child just like every other kid?
This is just added on to the hurt feelings of the hitting and toy-stealing that happened at the playdates. This can be a slippery slope that often leads to questioning the other parent's parenting techniques and any hopes of an intimate relationship are over.
I'm not saying it is the right thing. We don't blame the dog owner when the dogs don't get along (well, not always), we just say it is chemistry. But when kids don't get along, the adults often end up out of sorts too.
Have you ever lost a friendship because your kids didn't get along?
Want more? Last year, I wrote a post about how young girls opt for Bag Lady Chic.