Nanny 411
I am a big proponent of the chaos in my house. I create it through indecision, inactivity and an incompetence in the domestic arts (the cleaning half). My husband is the opposite he is decisive, a doer and a domestic diva (except for cooking). Once the second baby arrived on the scene, it was obvious that we needed a third person to help balance my messiness and my husband’s need for neatness.
Enter our nanny. She smoothes out our rough edges and makes the whole family happier. She takes good care of the kids and can play games for hours, she takes care of me by remembering where I put my sunglasses and keys and she takes good care of my husband by controlling the chaos in the house so he can relax when he gets home. She makes our transitions easier and our family run better.
I know how lucky we are. A good nanny is not that hard to find, but a great nanny is. Martha Scully from the indispensible site Canandiannanny.ca has some ideas on how to start the search and what to ask. The one thing that I would add to her suggestions is that you know when someone is a good fit for your family. Sometimes you have to go on a bunch of blind dates before you can find “the one”, but you will know it when you do. One approach is to work the local nanny network in your area, some of the best nannies we have had have come through recommendations from other nannies.
I am constantly amazed at the women I meet who work as nannies. Many of them have come to North America to make a better life for themselves and their families, and they have sacrificed a tremendous amount to be here. Sometimes they have left kids in their native country and they often support family back home financially. They arrive here with no knowledge of our climate or culture but with an incredible work ethic and a goal of becoming a citizen so they can sponsor family members. Our nanny had never seen snow before she arrived here in late February from Singapore, the following week she was partaking in the Canadian tradition of lugging a stroller through snowdrifts. That takes courage!
I have to admit though, life with a nanny is not perfect. In fact, it can be a very complicated relationship. It’s a strange dynamic – this person is intimately involved with your life, your kids and your undergarments but is still an employee. The lines get very blurry sometimes and it can be difficult to negotiate when employment related issues arise.
Some of my friends have felt competitive with their nanny, afraid that the kids will love their caregiver more than them. But I am of the opinion that the kids always know who their parents are, and that is good for kids to have more people to love and to have more people who love them.
Even though she is only part-time I’m wondering how I can keep the nanny after the kids are gone. Because without her, I’m not sure I will ever be able to find my keys…
Did you opt for a nanny or daycare? Are you happy with your childcare?
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