Birth Control is Not Just for the Young

I have a couple of friends, one the mother of two kids and the other the mother of three who practice coitus interruptus – yes, that’s right. They use the favourite method of teen boys everywhere: pulling out.  My friend calls it: no spray, no play. To which I can say HUH??  That just seems totally insane to me. First of all, the basics of sperm potency aside, why would you want to cut short an act that improves your marriage, makes your husband a nicer person and probably already doesn’t get enough attention anyways? The fail rate of pulling out is about 30 percent no matter what age you are. Perhaps my friends also believe that if they do it standing it up they won’t get pregnant.

Sometimes it seems like mothers are the ones who spend the least time thinking about birth control. As if having kids gives you some kind of psychic control over your reproductive system.  The message that women over the age of 40 are less likely to get pregnant has negatively influenced those who don’t want to get pregnant. The Center for Disease Control in the U.S. seems to back me up on my anecdotal theory: women over 40 are the least likely to use birth control and the most likely to have abortions (along with adolescents).

We have been using condoms for the last few years. We had one “umm” failure, after which I went to my pharmacist and got the Plan B (morning after) pill. It was pretty embarrassing and I felt like an 18  year old but I had no side effects and now we are looking for something a little bit more effective (though I will be a bit sad to say goodbye to condoms: no muss no fuss!)

My gynecologist is recommending the Mirena IUD. It is an inuterine device that also distributes progesterone into your system so that you don’t get your period. Let me say that again NO PERIODS. So tempting, especially as I find that my periods are getting way worse as I get older (everyone 40 and over is nodding their heads right now).  Bad press has followed the IUD for a few years but new studies claim the IUD is safe and effective.

For those of us inching towards a permanent solution, there is the pinnacle of birth control – vasectomies. It is minimally invasive and it works. And after managing the major fertility issues for the last 25 years – all I can say is: It’s their turn!

My husband’s willingness to go under the knife shows an understanding that birth control, pregnancy and birth is a partnership, and one that I have shouldered for two decades. Every time he gets a bit squeamish about the idea I just show him my Cesarean scar. Did I mention it is his turn?

I have a friend whose husband refused to get it, with some childish excuse about “his  boys” so she went under the knife, had to have a general anesthetic and recovery time. I’m glad I married someone who understands that a vasectomy has no impact on his manliness and that well…it’s his turn!

Vasectomies are very effective after the first three months but my friend Heather would like me to remind everybody that their husbands must go and get checked around the three month mark. Her husband didn’t bother and now she has baby number five!

If you need a brush up on birth control and its effectiveness, check out the Planned Parenthood site, it is very clear about the methods.