Santa Envy

I dread this conversation which I have had in some form or another with my two older kids:

“Mom, why doesn’t Santa come to our house?"
“umm… because we celebreate Hannukah and Santa only goes to houses that have Christmas.
“But why? The teacher/commercial/movie/well-meaning store person said that Santa would come to my house if I was a good boy. And I’ve been good.”
“We have Hannukah.”
“But I want Christmas and Santa, and a tree and pretty lights on the house.”
“Well. We have a Menorah which we get to light for eight nights in a row! And get presents and dreidel?”
“HEY! I get it, Santa isn’t real is he? I mean how could one person go around the world in one day and carry all the presents! Now I understand why Santa doesn’t come to our house. Wait until I tell my friends!!”
“You got it. Umm, hold on buddy. You can’t tell your friends… hey, come back here….”

It makes sense that my kids have a complicated relationship with Santa, there are no incentive to believe in him. In fact, there is a disincentive, because if they believe in Santa then they are getting ripped off of presents. And Hannukah Harry is just a poor second compared to Santa. So while I don’t tell my kids it is a lie, once they figure it out I don’t propagate the myth. I guess when kids realize that Santa isn’t real it is a rite of passage for most kids, and brings tears to the eyes of parents. I have noticed that if a kid really wants to believe then it doesn’t matter how much evidence they have to the opposite they will still believe. But let me apologize ahead of time if my kid had a hand in uncovering the truth for your child.

And while Hannukah (or Chanukah, both are correct) has some high points, it is not the cultural behemoth that Christmas is, and nor should it be. We light candles; we give presents and eat lots of fried foods. We don’t get the day off work, we don’t have too many TV specials about it, and the month of December does not revolve around Hannukah. So please don’t feel you have to remember to say Happy Hanukah instead of Merry Christmas to me, you can wish me a Merry Christmas because I happen to live in the same cultural moment that you do. And it is a family day in our house too and we have our own traditions – just like most Jewish families we will be going to a movie and eating Chinese Food. Jealous? You can join us if you want.

Adam Sandler, the Original Chanukah Song (version three is better, but only available on You Tube...)