I Can't Think of a &*%** Title

In a totally age-appropriate way my 9-year old is into exploring swear words, seeing how far he can push it. And since neither parent really has a leg to stand on when it comes to swearing, he gets away with a few minor swear words. When his friend's older brother taught him some words, we ruled them as inappropriate, we tried to use a swear jar, but we just didn't put our heart into it.  So he says damm and hell, and, in our house it is acceptable to go to the bathroom and "take a sh**". We don't say it, but he does. And he gets a feeling of the forbidden. We explain to him that other people might change their opinions of him if he swears. And then he tells us to ... stop saying that to him over and over.

I should have known we were setting a bad example a few years ago when 4-year old Aaron and I were waiting in a store and he said he was going to sing a little song. And that song was "sh*t, sh*t, sh*tty, sh*t. You get the idea. And I was totally shocked, as if I had never uttered the word in front of him.

Despite our laxness I am still surprised at the offensive language the kids are exposed to. In fact, it brings out my inner prude. I don't think there should be a song called, "Sexy Bitch" playing on the radio all the time. My six-year old now says "is that the B-word?" How does he even know there is a B-word?

Studies have shown that swearing actually has a use, it can help relieve pain. It also works well as a social connector, I don't know about you but I would rather hang out with someone who has a bit of a potty mouth than someone who exclaims "Heavens to Betsy!" when she drops her cell phone in a schoolyard puddle (not that it has happened to me). I think Dr. Golland at MomLogic and I could be friends.

There are certain words that are not allowed in our house under any circumstances and those are words that degrade groups of people. And we encountered one tonight. I explained to my son that is not acceptable, that it would be hurtful to some people that he knows and that even though he doesn't understand the connection between the word in the way he used it and people, there is one. It is a difficult concept for him to understand because he is growing up in a tolerant home and a diverse neighbourhood. He just doesn't understand prejudice, yet.  After my little speech, he rolled his eyes. But I hope he heard me, damm it.

But I am looking for some help: What do you do when your child swears? Do you allow swearing in your home? How do you control your own potty mouth? And how do you keep it from being personal and/or offensive?